Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
