The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
