i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
