I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
