that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
