so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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