I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
