I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
