I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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