Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
