Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
