I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
