My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
