if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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