dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
