ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
