5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
