you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
