bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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