i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
