her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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