I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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