I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
