Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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