there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
