You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
