pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
