Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
