Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
