Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
