Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
