Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Please, let me fuck your mom
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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