So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
