How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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