either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
