that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
