We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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