you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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