At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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