6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
