i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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