I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
