why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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