Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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