He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
