Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
