is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
