Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
