Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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