I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
